Existence - Dont you have better things to do?

How did this man manage to capture my thoughts so succinctly?

Is he stalking me telepathically?

Dik Cheney does, maybe this sprong has mastered the ancient art of Purekrapp from his vice-presidential overlord.

Phew, that was close. I emerged from my specially built anti-black hole shelter today after several months of fretting about the inevitable destruction of the universe brought about by those irresponsible Swiss and french egg heads.

Learning, whats it ever done for us, I'll tell you, its kept me locked in a very small room eating my own waste products (I did stock up on tinned foods, but didn't stock up on can openers, they don't teach you shit like that in survival school or if they did I wasn't paying much attention). We all know that those scientific creations like black holes work by sucking in light, all light, even neon and those environmentally friendly ones, so the trick to escaping their deadly zombie inducing rays is to paint every inch of your shelter a very deep shade of black, wearing nothing but black and getting up in the morning (or whatever time of day i get up, its all the same when every things black) and applying heavy goth makeup. The really hard part is your eyeballs, and they are vital, coz when the universe is sucked into the hole the last thing you want is to open your eyes and have the goo contained within to be sucked in with it. Commonsense I know, but you would be surprised how many people don't pay attention to the little details.

Speaking of black holes, Barrack seems to have fallen in one since the Scumbag Collective Meeting a week or so ago. Am I worried? Well yes, constantly, about shit that you probably don't pay any attention to, like killer bees and disposable shavers with 5 blades (can they kill?), but not about the poll bounce on the Palin/Mccain ticket.

That was just a given, even a total loser like Walter Mondale (last seen eating waffles, choking on waffles and calling for someone who knows the Heimlich maneuver, big news in its day, some say as big as the abortion debate as they are both controversial medical procedures forced upon people by communists) got huge bumps in their poll numbers (Mondale even overtook Regan in the polls for a few weeks). But fuck it, these things even out, especially as there is a reason why the Republicans are doing their damnedest to hide their lieing chromosome on stilts from doing anything but give the same speech to the same crowd over and over again. This ploy works for a short while, but then comes the time for questions to be answered in any forum except Fox News (We lie, you gulp and swallow).

The time to panic is not now, with some 50 days to go, the time to panic is the day after the election when the supreme court loaded with drunken whore republican "strict constructionists" hands the Palin/McSame ticket the electoral college votes in the face of Diebolds "foolproof" voting machines showing a swing of 100% to anyone scheming to rob the public purse under the Republican umbrella.

"We cant kill our way to victory."
Adm. Mike Mullen, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff

No but we can lie. No doubt the Palin/McCain camp will ensure that the press tag the (way above pictured) bozo as an Obama official spokesman rather than a man who rather pointedly speaks the truth.

I am so giddy about the US election, its all that we hoped for, a demented old Washington insider who "reluctantly" discusses his time as a POW at least twenty times a speech. Who talks of honor, yet spent his time in the military dropping bombs on civilians, talks of honor while lieing through his teeth and producing ads that equate policies protecting kids from kiddie fiddlers with forcing pre-schoolers to learn the correct technique for giving blowjobs.

Who tells you he "knows how to win wars", ignoring the fact that he has only ever participated in losing wars, who claims to know how to capture Osama, yet refuses to put country first and just do it.

A "maverick" who walks so closely in the Bush footsteps that only his proctologist could tell them apart, who has railed against "earmarks" then chooses the queen of "earmarks" who in turn blatantly lies through her godfearing teeth about basically her entire lifestory, but especially about the earmarks she now no longer has ever heard of.

Its not often that Alaska makes the news for the right reasons, today is no different, so go through the below for a very well informed collection of Alaskan treats.

http://mudflats.wordpress.com/

also released today, the future of the USA's best dressed pre-jail festering sores.

http://www.crewsmostcorrupt.org/

Yep, The Pitbull to Nowhere's mentor, Stevens is one of the tops in corruption.

From this point on the November election is just going to get weirder, but as the Palin/McSame spokes bubble said "this is not a campaign about issues" its about political porn, and I am just about to dive headlong, tongue out in to the bushy muff of a truly twisted, ragged whore. Wish me luck and please send a case of mints for after.