69 or 72: either way, you are close to your own demise

While some may question my reemergence from a pointless election squabble to terrify your kith and kin, a weighty matter has arisen that demands instant unflinching action from our spineless, vote buying politicians.

I have been warning about this for years, trying to combat the potentially fatal neglect of a crucial national security deficiency.

I beseeched all parties to commit to a 200% increase in funding, even more if they are not currently committed to spending anything.

I harangued for a stern public health warning.

I begged for a national register to be set up.

I pleaded for an exclusion zone around all schools and compulsory subjects to be taught to all children to alert them to the very real and present danger.

I called for a pizza, and lo it was delivered.

after the launch of all parties official platforms this week, I knew that the nations safety would be placed last, or at the very least, near the tail end of priorities. Its as though the equine flu had never happened, well let me put it to you straight, it did, and horses coughed and died in the face of official neglect and incompetence.

Well now we have the potential number one killer baying at the doors of our fine (tho somewot fuked up in the wallet/head nexus) egalitarian nation. This disease will cut a swathe through your family, make you vomit in TERROR, then vomit again as you lop your nearest and dearests heads clean from their slavering bodies.

that's right, its official, Zombies are coming, and there is nothing but carnage ahead, forget interest rates and global warming, this is your future writ large on the ever reliable pages of history.

Recent work at Hierakonpolis has, however, revealed compelling evidence that zombies may have been problematic already in Predynastic Egypt (ca. 3500 B.C.)

The idea that zombies are supernatural beings needs to be discarded. They are not the Spawn of Hell, although, they certainly look the part. They are, or were, people who were infected by the Solanum virus. The virus creates a zombie by eating away the frontal lobe of the brain for replication, thus destroying it. The virus mutates the brain and allows the brain to remain alive but dormant and without the need for oxygen. Once the mutation is complete, approximately 23 hours from infection to fully functioning zombie, the ghoul will be on the unending search for living human flesh, thus spreading the infection

http://www.archaeology.org/online/features/hierakonpolis/zombies.html

ZOMBIES, PEOPLE, WE ARE ALL DOOOMED!!!! They are at your door as you look and I type wot you are viewing. For those of you who are either illiterate or not Y2k compliant, I beg the lord for my soul, coz I know that you will be the among the first to die, and I wont be horribly upset to cleave your wasted brains from your wasted bodies, if fact I may get a bit of a thrill from it. sorry. but it had to be said.